Secrecy, hierachy enable child rape

Secrecy, hierarchy, money, power and silence.

these are the factors that make child rape thrive.

There was a CALCASA email today (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault) that said that even the most seasoned advocates were shook, dismayed and disheartened by the news from Penn State.

Unfortunately, it's a story that we who are allies and advocates of survivors (many of whom are survivors ourselves) find all too familiar.

Eight victims and 40 counts of sexual abuse? That means he's probably raped hundreds of children, I said to my spouse. And sure enough, ten more victims came forward in the past few days. Some have been so traumatized that they've forgotten the abuse. Some thought they were the only ones. Some now think that maybe someone will believe them, notice them, or care about them.

The abuse follows the child rapist pattern - they all have their m.o.s. In this case, Sandusky tested and pushed his victims. First, he bribed them by tickets and gifts and money and trinkets. No doubt he then told his victims that people would believe that they were money grubbers who had profited off Sandusky and would not be believed if they disclosed. Then he would insist on showering together, put his hand on their knees...please read the grand jury report. It's on line and it's very specific. http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/feature?section=news&id=8421115

No doubt he guilt tripped them, telling them that if they told they would destroy the football team, his marriage, and his life. If he was at all like other child rapists, he told them that people would believe HIM, not them, and that he would tell the world that they had consented and enjoyed the sexual contact. Because he was a man, and his victims were boys, he played upon their fear that they were gay, and would be shamed and ostracized because of this perception.

The child rapist tells his victim that no one will believe him or her, and no one will help them. Perhaps the most chilling part of this chronicle is the assistant coach who came upon a ten year old boy being anally raped in the shower. {Please, enough euphemisms about "molestation," which leads to reports that there was some "sexual horseplay," conjuring up a situation where two young men are wrestling and one gets an erection).

Jerry Sandusky almost certainly told that little boy "see, no one will ever believe you, even if they see it happen." This inculcates despair and powerlessness in the victims.

The child rapist spends a huge amount of time and energy creating access to victims.

Most child rapists have their own children to abuse. The most common perpetrator of child rape is a father, uncle, grandfather, mother's boyfriend, etc. Others target youth at risk (as did Jerry Sandusky's foundation) who need help, sustenance, and assistance.

These are often children whose mothers are urgently seeking additional educational, social and emotional support for their children. Child rapists exploit moms' concern for their children, presenting themselves as moral and helpful role models and caretakers for children. Unfortunately, they discredit the many men who ARE helpful role models for children who come from homes plagued by domestic violence, alcohol and other drug addiction, poverty and mental illness.

The worst perpetrators are often those shielded by money, power and position. Texas Judge Adams who beat his disabled daughter will probably face no consequences.

The Catholic Church is a big business. The college football industry garners millions of dollars for the university, and pays big salaries, benefits, and perks for the men who run the football industry.

There is a growing body of research and interest by funders in how to promote "bystander interventions." I've got an idea. Get a ruler and strap it to your spine.

If you see a child (or woman or man) being raped, call 911. Then scream, intervene, and throw your own body between the rapist and his victim. (I am in full support of the work to engage bystanders, check it out at http://www.nsvrc.org/publications/nsvrc-publications/engaging-bystanders-sexual-violence-prevention)

We hear about "heroes of the gridiron," those manly men who go out to a rough field and battle together for a touchdown. Where are these heroes when children are being raped? Gotta tell you, it's mostly women who staff our rape crisis centers and our domestic violence shelters, who historically have stood between assailants and their prey...not just with counseling, shelter, and advocacy, but oftentimes with their own bodies.  Those big tough guys are wallowing in the cheers of the crowds and the esteem of their fellow students, but what are they really risking? Is what they are doing really making a difference?

Perhaps there needs to be a veterans' day celebration for allies and advocates of survivors who spend their lives working for minimum wage pay and no benefits, whose health and sanity suffers, who cry and bleed daily for the carnage they see perpetrated by men who feel entitled to take what they want. Many allies and advocates face ridicule and ostracism, lawsuits, name calling, and belittlement from those who support perpetrators of all stripes.

Let's look at the students at Penn State who are being blamed for rioting on behalf of THEIR hero, Joe Paterno. What exactly has Mr. Paterno done to merit being nominated for a Presidential Medal for Freedom? I can name some women who should have gotten a Presidential Medal for Freedom, their names are legion - Lydia Walker and Gale Martin, and Ginny NiCarthy, and Elizabeth Reese, and Sheri Johnson and Paula Arrowsmith-Jones, and I could go on and on about women who have dedicated their lives to helping survivors.

So Mr. Paterno has coached many, many winning football teams. And so? How exactly does that make him a hero? (Joe Nocera in the NY Times questions the whole idea of the benevolence of college football - http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/12/opinion/nocera-the-institutional-pass.html?_r=1&ref=joenocera)

However, Paterno has been held up as an icon, a saint to the students at Penn State. There are pep rallies, and parties, and team colors, and chants, and solidarity and excitement.

So when he is fired, the students rioted. Did they consciously think how this might affect the victims of the child rape? Did they think that those who covered up these atrocious and vile acts should be held accountable - despite their abilities to field winning football teams? Probably not.....There is no consistent support or education about these issues, but there sure as hell is support for the football team.

There has been a lot of talk about how Joe Paterno's legacy has been "tarnished." What a shame. I gotta tell you that I do not care one iota about Penn State's football team, its reputation or its morale...I care only for the children who were raped, sodomized and traumatized by Jerry Sandusky. I care not a fig for football coaches, or university officials, compared to the ongoing effects of child rape. I hold Penn State's problems as nothing compared to the horrendous problems of just one of the many victims.(The Onion does it's usually brilliant job about this issue "Sports Media Asks Child Molestation Victims What This Means for Paterno's Legacy. http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/sports-media-asks-molestation-victims-what-this-me,26609/)

The rape itself is a violation, a tragedy and an abomination. But how bad the life time trauma for child rape victims is seriously depends on WHAT the reaction of those who are supposed to help is. If parents, friends, child protective services workers, and law enforcement are supportive, compassionate and non-victim blaming, the effects can be ameliorated.

If you are a child rapist, you have forfeited any pretense that you are a moral human being. We expect nothing of you. Yet, if you are a witness, or someone who knows or suspects the abuse, we have the right to expect you will act ethically and morally. The community and your family and your friends expect that you will act to protect a child who is being raped. Dante in his Divine Comedy relegates those who do not to the ninth level of hell - the worst, reserved for those who commit treachery against family or those in their charge.

So, I myself gave way to the sin of despair for a while. What could I do about this? I finally remembered that I am not alone and that I am a part of a world wide movement to end sexual and domestic violence. I resolved to act by starting this blog and writing about these atrocities.

So, what CAN we do?

First, honor, support and respect those who have been victimized by this particular perpetrator. What can we do to assure them that they did nothing wrong, and that we stand with them?

Second, we can hold the perpetrators accountable. This does NOT mean that we will revel at the idea that they themselves will be raped in prison. We must stand against rape. However, we must ensure that the child rapist in this instance acknowledges his crimes, acknowledges the harm he has done, and accepts the appropriate consequences.

Third, we can hold those who were silent and covered up accountable. They should tithe a percentage of their retirement income and book fees to ethical and accountable non-profits who work against child rape and child sexual abuse. They should apologize to the victims.

Fourth, we can break the silence. Louise Armstrong said that there is no taboo against incest, but that there is a taboo against TALKING about incest.

Fifth, we can honor those individuals and organizations that are fighting rape and domestic violence by awards, recognitions, and contributions to their organizations.

Sixth, we can TALK ABOUT WHY THIS happens. In conversations with my colleagues in the fights against sexual torture, and trafficking, and rape and domestic violence, we discussed what is at the root of these atrocious and unconscionable acts.

First and foremost, is the tradition, rooted in laws, that women, children, land and animals are the property of men and that men are entitled to do what they choose.

Child rape and sexual abuse are firmly rooted in hierarchy. Any system or organization that says that the people on the bottom must not only obey, but look up to, revere and never question the ones on top are at risk.

I grew up in the Catholic Church and was a witness to the hierarchy that said priests were the embodiment of moral virtue, and the representative of God in our community.

Who would believe the altar boy?

I believe that child rapists sought out the priesthood knowing that there was a group of child rapists who would share information, pictures, and victims. They also knew that their supervisors would at best transfer them, that they would not be defrocked, that they would not be turned over to the authorities, and that they would be protected by the Church as they engaged in their sinful, reprehensible and disgusting behavior. They became priests so that they could rape children without consequences.  As far as I am concerned, the Catholic Church has lost any pretense to moral rectitude when it deliberately and systematically protected the abusive priests. After all, they're too busy marshalling their forces to oppose gay marriage to fight against child rape. Think about it -- the Church instead of using its money and power to fight against child rape has instead decided here in the United States that gay marriage is the real threat. http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/us-catholic-bishops-declare-war-on-gay-marriage-despite-us-catholic-views/politics/2011/11/14/30166


Dante's levels of hell are sure as hell going to be crowded.


P.S. I hope that the next movements will be "occupy Penn State" and "occupy the Catholic Church"